Choices
by ashleezak
Summary: Sequel to Death Will Bring Us Together. While the Doctor, Martha, and Donna adjust to their new ghostly roommate, the TARDIS gets pulled into a situation that no one, especially the Doctor, should be in. Can he live with the consequences of his choice?
1. Chapter 1

_All standard disclaimers apply, since I don't own any of this and aren't making a cent._

_Sequel to Death Will Bring Us Together, which will make this make more sense._

The Doctor paced around the console room. His life had changed dramatically, and he still hadn't come to grips with it all. A flicker of color in the center column brought a smile to his face.

Rose stepped out of the console and stood beside him. "Am I never going to be able to sneak up on you?" she asked, wavering between teasing and frustration.

He shrugged indolently. "Don't know." Looking over at her, he smiled brightly. "Although I can't say that I mind you trying."

She grinned back. "Then I'll keep trying." Wandering around and gazing at the controls, she nodded back toward the living quarters. "So, do you think we can get through an adventure without those two squabbling?"

"I sincerely doubt it." The Doctor grimaced. "This is why I don't do domestic. There's just too much infighting."

"Oh, like you don't love every minute of having a full house. We ought to go get Jack just to round out the bunch," Rose teased.

A frustrated squawk and curse echoed through the corridor. The alien and the ghost shared a look. "You really shouldn't do that to her," Rose chided the TARDIS.

"Oh, where's the fun in that?" the Doctor grinned. "Donna needs a shake-up every now and then?"

"Fine. She's headed this way. You deal with her." With that, Rose vanished.

"What's with the bleedin' doors changing 'round?" the redhead demanded as she stomped into the control room.

"What do you mean?" he asked innocently, trying to keep the grin off of his face.

"It's like musical chairs down that hallway. I never know what I'm going to get," she stormed. "I know it's your fault, Doctor!"

"It is not." He knew his guiltless expression had slipped when she frowned.

"You bloody alien!" Donna screamed as she lunged for him.

His manic grin was firmly in place, he dodged her attack, strategically keeping the controls between them. "It was the TARDIS!"

"Don't blame it on the ship! It was you! I know it was!"

Martha stopped at the door, watching them circle each other. She grinned at the gleeful expression on the Doctor's face. Despite his difficulty dealing with Rose's death, having her with him, at least in spirit form, had brought him out of the depression that had dogged his steps during their early trips.

"How bad was he?"

She jumped and whirled to stare at the blonde ghost. "What?"

"Your expression tells me a lot. How bad was he?"

Considering her words, Martha looked back at the alien playing. "I've never seen him play like this. He had brief moments like this, but it never stayed." She sighed. "This is how you knew him, wasn't it?"

"Not at first. Before he regenerated, he was so different." Rose's expression turned dreamy. "He wasn't anything like this one. We were on our third adventure before I found out anything about him really. Tall, dark, northern, and only flirting when he felt threatened." She grinned. "Jack was good for something, at that. He brought out the best of that first one."

"Really?" Martha regarded Rose curiously. "I can't imagine the Doctor not being, well, _him._"

"I think I have a picture of my first Doctor. Remind me some time and I'll show you what he looked like."

Martha opened her mouth to comment on that when an enraged screech startled them out of their discussion.

"I better go save him," Rose said. "Otherwise, he's just going to get her really mad." Stepping forward, she called, "Donna!"

The redhead charged right through her, intent on causing bodily injury to the Doctor.

"I can handle this myself," he said happily.

"Yeah. That's what I'm afraid of." Rose concentrated for a moment. The lights dimmed down to nearly nothing, finally drawing the woman's attention to the ghost. "Donna, the ship really does change things about. It's a common occurrence."

"You telling me that this thing is intelligent?" Donna asked, never taking her eyes off of the Doctor.

"More so than some people," he returned cheekily.

"Doctor!" Rose shouted as he had to dash out of reach again. "Donna, he's just tormenting you. It really was the TARDIS."

The ghost's words finally got through to her when the ubiquitous hum raised a level. She stood for a moment, weighing the words. "You better hope so," she said before stalking off.

"Oh, Rose! Why did you have to ruin my fun?" the Doctor laughed, leaning against the railing.

"When you learn to communicate with people without making them mad, then I'll quit butting in," she said. "You're still rude."

"And you still love me," he grinned unrepentantly.

Rose returned his smile before she could hide it. "So, why don't you tell Martha where we're going today?"

Blinking, he looked toward the door where the young doctor was standing, watching the whole scene. "Oh. Good morning, Martha. Didn't see you there. Did you sleep well?" he breezed, turning back to the console.

She shook her head at his sudden change of subject. "I'm fine, thanks. So, where are we going?"

"Absolutely no idea. Wanna go?"

Laughing at his manic smile, she shared a look with Rose. "Since when do you not know where we're going?"

"Since I programmed in coordinates at random. Let's see what we get!"

Rose snorted. "Don't you ever learn? The last time we did that we ended up running from a bunch of things of that looked like the Michelin Man."

"Yeah, but they had great chips, didn't they?"

"They were green!"

Martha watched the two as they dissolved into an argument. Neither one was angry, but she could see how well they fit together. The young doctor sighed. Rose was truly a part of him, and the Doctor that she'd known and loved hadn't been whole. She really wished she could dislike the ghost, but Rose made it impossible with her quick smiles and peacekeeping abilities. It was obvious that they loved each other. Despite Rose's protests that the alien couldn't love her like that, his smiles and flirting told Martha that he did love her.

"As long as it's not a spaceship plunging into a living sun, then I'm game," Martha said, interrupting their play fighting.

"Brilliant!" the Doctor said. "Random coordinates, here we go!"

"I'll go let Donna know," Rose said and vanished.

Martha saw the grin fade from his face. "How are you coming along with fixing it so she can leave the TARDIS?" she asked quietly.

He shrugged, but she saw the strain in his posture. "Something's blocking it. It might be the TARDIS itself." Straightening, he tried to regain his former joviality. "Still, I have her here, so I shouldn't be greedy, should I?"

"She makes you happy. Why shouldn't you try for everything you can?" Martha asked.

"Because when I get happy, bad things happen."

She dropped the conversation, although she wanted to protest. Bad things happened no matter what his mood was, but she knew he didn't want to hear that. "I'll get ready," she said finally. "I'm glad she's here."

The Doctor stared after her as she left the control room. Martha was a good friend, and she tended to speak her mind concerning most subjects. She was also completely honest, and he appreciated her for her candor. Most of the time, anyway.

He had been trying to make Rose corporeal, but his work was not progressing like he wanted. It had been enough at first to simply have her there, but as the weeks passed, he was craving her touch. His hands itched with the desire to take her hand in his, just as they had before Canary Wharf.

Sighing, he pulled levers and turned knobs, taking the TARDIS out of the vortex. The comforting shudder flowed through him, and he ran his hand along the console. "Thank you for bringing her back," he whispered to the ship.

"Talking to yourself?" He jumped, which prompted a giggle from Rose. "I finally got you," she laughed.

The Doctor smiled, unable to resist her glee. "So, will you be okay while we're gone?" he asked.

"As I've said before, as long as the TARDIS is good, then I'm good," she reassured him.

"Good."

There was an uncomfortable silence that was broken by Donna walking back into the room with a big grin on her face. "So, are we there yet?" she chirped.

The Doctor's eyebrows rose dramatically. "What did you do to her?" he whispered to Rose.

Grinning evilly, she said, "I told her that you were taking her shopping."

His jaw dropped as she vanished. He swore that her cheeky grin was the last thing to go. Turning to the ship, he barked, "No more Lewis Carroll, do you hear me?"

"What in the world are you going on about?" Donna asked.

"Nothing. Hold on now."

Martha barely had time to grab the railing as the ship began shaking. Donna was a little more prepared, but still got tossed about a bit. "All right. Let's go see what we've got," he called cheerfully, pulling his trench coat on.

Flinging the doors open, they stared out at a very long corridor that was lined with shops. Donna squealed behind him, not even bothering to look apologetic when he glared at her.

"So, where is this?" Martha asked hesitantly.

"Let's go find out," the Doctor said as he stepped out. Looking around, he sniffed and cocked his head. "Either space station or ship," he announced. "The technology suggests nothing terribly advanced, so I'm thinking maybe the thirtieth century."

"And that's not advanced?" Donna asked.

Martha laughed. "Not even. Been to the year five billion. This is nothing." She looked around as well. "In fact, this looks familiar."

The Doctor stared at her. "Familiar how?"

"I swear I've been here before," she repeated, staring at the shops. "I've got it. These are shops straight out of our time. Look at the names."

"Henrick's!" Donna exclaimed. "I loved shopping there before it was blown up."

Martha noticed the Doctor's face fall at that. "Something wrong with shopping?" she asked.

Shaking his head, he plastered a grin on his face. "Nope." Striding forward, he looked into a nearby trash bin. "Neo-plastic wrappers," he said, feeling around inside. Sniffing, he continued. "No meat products. That narrows this down to about the year 2948 or 49."

"So we're nine hundred years into the future?" Donna asked, a little awed. "So what do they use for money?"

"Plastic." The alien stepped over to a small booth and pulled out his sonic screwdriver. The machine chirped and he turned back to the women. "Now, this ought to keep you both amused for quite some time."

The redhead frowned. "This is money?" she asked, staring at the small translucent sheets.

"Yep." He looked around. "Will you two be all right by yourselves for a while?"

"What are you planning?" Martha asked suspiciously.

The Doctor shook his head. "Something just feels … off." Snapping back to the present, he grinned at the two women. "Go on and have fun. You deserve it."

Donna took off, dragging Martha with her. The Doctor saw the hesitant look Martha threw his way and shrugged. He wasn't going to make her go with him.

Striding toward the hum of the engines, he weaved through the crowds. Most were human, but there was an assortment of aliens in the mix. Suppressing a shudder, he tried to banish the images of the GameStation. There were similar feelings running through this station.

The feeling got stronger as he neared the bridge. The sonic screwdriver made quick work of the door, and he wandered around the inner office. Everything was automated, so he saw no one in his prying. None of the computers were out of place, and he shook his head, frustrated that there was no glaring reason for his unease.

He was tempted to go back to the TARDIS and run checks from there when he passed the navigational computer. The numbers jumped off of the screen at him.

"No, no, no, no, no!" he said, typing in a verification request. "This can't be!"

When the coordinates remained unchanged, he flew out the door. He knew that he knocked people over, but he didn't care as he ran as fast as he could back through the crowds. The doors of the TARDIS slowed him down only a tiny bit.

"Doctor! What are you doing?" Rose asked, startled by his appearance.

"Something is very, very, very wrong!" he said as he frantically typed queries into the controls.

"What? What's wrong?" she asked again, frustrated when he didn't answer her. "Doctor, tell me!"

"We shouldn't be here!" he said, shaking his head and never looking up from the readouts. "It's impossible!"

"Where are we?" Rose demanded. She got the answer from the ship and from the Doctor in the same instant.

"Gallifrey."

"But …" she began.

"We're on a ship traveling right through the coordinates where it used to be," the Doctor explained. "These weren't the coordinates that I put in. I don't know why we're here!"

"But if the planet's gone," she said, cringing against the pain on his face, "Then there's nothing to pass through, right? No harm done?"

The TARDIS plunged into absolute darkness, answering Rose's question quickly. She closed her eyes, trying to see into the mind of the ship as she'd been able to do since she'd been drawn back. There was nothing.

"Doctor? Where's the TARDIS? Why can't I see anything?"

"I don't know." There was fear in the alien's voice, and it tore at Rose. "I don't know."

There was a moment of absolute dead calm before the dark ship was thrown about. Rose felt a sensation of movement through the deafening roar. "Doctor!" she called. "Where are you? I can't see you."

There was no answer, and the ghost was scared. She knew that Martha and Donna were trapped outside, and with the Doctor not answering to her shouts, she had never felt her limitations as much as she did then. There was nothing that she could affect, physically, and she'd tried. She'd tried everything she could think of to touch something, but none of her efforts had succeeded.

The noise gradually subsided, and as it did, the TARDIS began giving off dim light. Rose looked around as the ship brightened back close to normal.

"Doctor!" Rose fell to her knees beside the still form. Her hands went through him as she tried to touch him. She could see blood dripping through the grating under his head. His arm twisted unnaturally beneath him, and she could hear his labored breaths. Glancing around, she realized that the ship had been tossed about, since everything loose in the room had been thrown from its place.

Before panic set in, she reached for the TARDIS again. A whisper of the presence she normally felt was there. "How can I help him?"

There was a long silence before the very faint answer came. _You can't._


	2. Chapter 2

Martha followed Donna around the shops. She felt a little out of place, although she did purchase a few knickknacks for family and friends. Wondering what the Doctor had sensed, she ran right into the redhead.

"What do you suppose that is?" she asked, pointing toward the glowing chandelier in the center of the corridor.

"It's a light," Martha said, unsure of what she was supposed to be seeing.

"I know it's a light. It wasn't glowing like that a minute ago."

Martha took another look. The center support was glowing just as brightly as the bulbs. "I don't know what's causing that," she said with a frown. "You said it just started doing that?"

"Yeah." The two women stared as they watched a very familiar figure tear down the corridor. "What's he on about?"

"I don't know," Martha said, "But if he's running, we'd better join him."

It took a moment to get out of the store, but once they did, they took off running the way the Doctor had. They stumbled to a halt as a blinding light flashed. "What the bloody hell was that?" Donna asked, rubbing her eyes.

Martha didn't bother to answer, because as her eyes cleared, she noticed something that she never wanted to see. The TARDIS vanished in front of her.

"That alien went and stranded us here!" the redhead screeched as she noticed the missing ship.

Shaking her head, Martha tried not to give in to the crushing fear. "I don't think so," she said slowly. "There was no noise, no wind, no fading out. It just disappeared."

"You're right," Donna said as she calmed down. "So, how are we going to get it back?"

The woman shrugged. "There has to be something around here to tell us what's going on," she said. "The Doctor took off that way, so I suggest we do the same."

Donna grabbed her arm as she started to move. "Do you see it?"

"See what?"

"The people."

Martha took a long look around. "They're shopping?" she asked, not quite sure of Donna's point.

"Yeah, they're shopping, but they're doing the exact same thing they were doing when we first got here."

Frowning slightly, she tried to see what Donna saw. "What exactly do you mean?"

"See the woman in the red? She was at that same exact table."

"She could just be a slow eater," Martha said.

"Except that she got up and left just afterwards. She threw her garbage in the same bin that the Doctor was poking around in."

They watched in amazement as the woman did exactly what Donna had noticed. "How'd you know that?" Martha asked breathlessly.

"I liked her outfit." Shrugging, she grinned. "So I like clothes. Sue me."

"All right. Let's go see if we can find out what spooked the Doctor," Martha said. "We'll watch out for other instances of repeats, okay?"

"Sounds good."

They walked through the corridor, fighting serious déjà vu as they went. "How come we're not repeating like they are?" Donna asked finally.

"I don't know. Maybe because we came in after whatever this is happened." Martha scanned the crowds nervously. "At least no one's scared or anything. That's all we'd really need was a panic."

Both women gave the glowing chandelier as much distance as they could as they passed it. Neither of them spoke as the light flashed again. Prepared for it this time, they tried not to react to people vanished and appeared around them.

"Clueless lot, aren't they?" Donna muttered.

Martha didn't reply, but she agreed with the assessment. She kept her eyes open for something suspicious, but nothing stood out. "I swear. There has to be something here that made the Doctor take off like that," she said. "But I can't see anything…"

"What?" Donna asked as Martha stopped. "What is it?"

"Shh."

Irritated to be shushed, the redhead opened her mouth to protest when she heard the familiar buzzing. "Isn't that…"

"The sonic screwdriver!" Martha said, grinning broadly. "That's the Doctor!"

They looked around for the alien, but there was no sign of him. Listening, they followed the sound toward a plain door tucked away between two shops. Frowning, Donna stopped. "Where is he?" she complained when they couldn't see him.

"I don't know," Martha said. Peering toward the door, she noticed the blue glow shining on the metal door. "Over here," she whispered, tugging Donna's arm. "I saw it."

"Then why are we whispering?" Donna asked.

"Because I don't think the Doctor had it. I think someone stole it."

To her credit, Donna seemed suitably affronted that someone would take something that was so personal to her friend. They slipped toward the dark figure holding it.

Martha felt her breath freeze in her throat when she saw the man holding the screwdriver. Donna didn't notice her hesitation and charged the man. "Hold on there. What do you think you're doing with the Doctor's things?"

"What? I am the Doctor!"


	3. Chapter 3

Rose flew through the rooms, desperately trying to find anything that could help her. The Doctor was still unconscious on the floor, and she couldn't even do anything to make him more comfortable. Frustrated, she screamed into the emptiness of the current room. "This isn't fair!"

_I'm sorry._

"I know you're sorry, but why this? I mean, I know he'll regenerate if something goes really wrong, but I don't want him to have to."

_No._

Rose huffed. "No, what?"

_He won't regenerate._

She froze. "What do you mean, he won't regenerate?"

_Right now his fate is tied to this point in time and space. We shouldn't be here._

"But we are here. I don't understand. I know we're where Gallifrey was, but what does that have to do with him not regenerating?" She screamed behind clenched teeth. "Just tell me. I don't understand."

Instead of words, images bombarded Rose. Closing her eyes, she tried to see as many of them as she could. Finally opening her eyes, she sighed shakily. "So, because he was supposed to have died with the rest of the Time Lords, he should never have returned here?"

_Yes._

"So, how are we going to get him out of this mess?"

_The others will have to do it._

"So, I'm stuck here with the Doctor and can't do anything about it but sit and wait?"

_Yes._

"I can't do that." Fury and desperation shot through Rose. "I have to do something."

Appearing back at the Doctor's side, she knelt down again. His still face was ashen, although the blood didn't drip nearly as quickly as it had been. Listening carefully, she cringed as she heard his shallow breaths rattling in his throat. She put her hand out, trying to touch him. Her hand went through him, as she expected, but the motion was so small that she nearly missed it. Rose tried to touch him again, and this time she was sure. His hair moved slightly, although she didn't feel anything.

"Doctor?" she pleaded, trying to wake him. "Come on. I need some help here."

The sensation was just a tickle on her fingers. Rose blinked and tried again. There was contact on her fingers. Looking toward the center column, she asked, "What's happening? How come I can touch him now? What did I do?"

_You can't continue down this path._

"Why not?" Rose cried. "I can't sit here and watch him die. If there's any kind of chance, I'll take it." There was no answer, so the ghost turned back to the Doctor. Focusing all her fear and frustration, she willed herself to touch his face. There was solid contact before her fingers melted through.

Inhaling shakily, she tried again. Each time, the contact lasted just a little longer until she could actually touch him without fading out. Running to the medical bay, she grabbed the bandages and anything that she thought would be useful. Rose knelt by him, carefully turning the one diagnostic tool she was familiar with on. She scanned him, hoping that she remembered how to read it.

Information scrolled across the small screen, and she panicked when nothing made sense. A presence in the back of her mind flooded her with reassurance, and Rose stared at the information that was suddenly intelligible. He had three broken ribs, one of which was putting pressure on his lung. His left arm was broken, and he had a concussion.

Rose frowned. None of these injuries, taken together or separately, were fatal, but even as she watched, his vital signs weakened. "What's killing him?"

_The planet._

She never felt the tears that coursed down her face. "Fine," she muttered under her breath. "I'll fix what I can."

Carefully rolling him over, she cleaned and bandaged the cuts on his head. She straightened his arm out, trying to align it correctly. Not knowing how to treat his ribs, she settled for making him as comfortable as she could. Then she took his hand in hers, reveling in the feel of his skin on hers again, and sat in vigil.


	4. Chapter 4

"You're not the Doctor!" Donna snapped. "I know exactly who the Doctor is, and you're certainly not him."

"I beg your pardon!" the northern accent snapped. "I don't know why you think you know me, but I am the Doctor."

Martha's attempted silencing of Donna went ignored, so she dragged the woman back out of earshot. "That _is_ the Doctor, but not our Doctor!" she whispered fiercely.

"What? There's more than one?" she snapped.

"Time Lords are different. They can …" She hesitated while she tried to think of a way to explain it to Donna. "They can change their faces when they get close to death. I think that's the Doctor that Rose first met."

"How do you know that? Did you meet him?"

Martha shook her head. "Rose has talked about her first Doctor a few times. This guy fits her description. Besides, I saw a picture of him once."

"Really? When was that?" Donna asked, fascinated by this background information.

"Jack showed me. Now let's go see if we can get him talking and find out what's going on."

They walked back over to the Doctor, who'd opened the door and gone in to investigate the quiet room within. "Doctor?"

He looked toward the two women with a suddenly quizzical look on his face. "How do you know who I am? I've never met you, have I?"

Martha shook her head. "No, but I've heard stories about you from Jack."

A familiar smile flashed across his face. "I'm surprised he let you go, then," the Doctor said. "He flirts with anything that breathes." Cocking his head, he studied them both. "You didn't know me, but you knew me. You're traveling with a future me."

"Yeah."

Looking around, he frowned. "Rose didn't come with you? She's usually in the middle of trouble, wherever it is."

"She's a …"

Martha jabbed Donna in the ribs, driving the breath from her before she could finish her sentence. "Last time we saw, she was in the TARDIS with our Doctor, I mean you."

He stared at the two of them. "If you're traveling with a future me, then why aren't you with him to figure this out?"

"The TARDIS vanished with them inside," Donna said.

"Wait a minute. I left you behind?" he asked, astonished. "That doesn't sound like me. Or at least I hope it doesn't."

"No. Not left. Vanished. Disappeared. Right in front of us, just gone."

"Oh." The three of them stared at each other. "Right then. Stick with me and I'll get you back to your right time."

Donna pulled Martha aside as the Doctor moved away. "Why did you do that? It hurt."

"Do you really think he needs to know that Rose is dead?" she hissed.

"Oh. Didn't really think of that."

"Yeah."

They caught up with the Doctor, who was leaning over the navigational computer, shaking his head. "What's wrong?" Martha asked.

"These readings don't make any sense. I was going to the Falan'i System in 25,750 and ended up here."

"Some things never change," Donna muttered. "Anyway, our Doctor said that it was the year 2948 or so."

"Well, that's what the people and things outside demonstrate, but according to the navigational computer, we're in the year 25,750."

"So, instead of being 900 years in the future, we're really over 20,000," Martha said.

"What year are you from?"

"2008," Donna said quickly.

"Then you're 23,742 years in the future."

The women exchanged a glance. That little comment eliminated any doubts that this was, indeed, the Doctor. "So, what explains the little rewind shows out there?"

"What show?" he asked, whirling on Donna.

"The people. They keep doing the same things, over and over."

"Really? Have you noticed anything else out of the ordinary?"

Martha nodded. "There's a chandelier out in the corridor that is glowing funny, and then there's this big flash before the whole show starts all over again."

The Doctor grinned brightly. "Fantastic!" He clapped his hands together gleefully. "Let's go see."

They followed him back out into the corridor. "So, where is this chandelier?"


	5. Chapter 5

The Doctor moaned. He hurt all over, but there was something pressing in his mind that shouldn't be there. Fighting toward consciousness, he wondered why it felt like his head was splitting open.

"Doctor? Can you hear me?"

That familiar voice pulled him closer. He began pinpointing his pain. There was a dull ache in his arm, it hurt to breathe, and his head was not getting better. Another groan brought a welcome touch on his face.

"Doctor? Wake up. Please."

"Rose?" he rasped. Opening his eyes, he saw her tear-stained face.

"You're awake," she said, voice heavy with relief.

"So it would seem." She laid her hand on his forehead when his eyes closed. It only took a moment for him to realize what was wrong. His eyes flew open again and met with hers. "You're touching me."

"Yeah."

He tried to lift his right hand but found it wrapped in hers. Her temperature was the same as his, which was wrong, but it felt so good to be able to squeeze those familiar fingers. "How did this happen?"

"I don't know. We'll figure it out when we get out of this mess." She hugged his hand anxiously. "Martha and Donna are trapped outside, and something threw the TARDIS around pretty hard. If it was an explosion, I hope they're all right."

"Help me up," he said. "I can't find answers here on the floor."

Rose slid her arm underneath his shoulders, supporting his weight as he stood unsteadily. Leaning heavily on the console, he peered at the readouts. "This can't be right," he said, blinking as if to clear his vision.

"What's wrong?"

"It says that I'm already here." He frowned. "I haven't been back here since ..."

"Before the Time War," Rose said, finishing his statement. "Is it possible that there's something left over? Kind of like the rift in Cardiff but different?"

"The destruction of Gallifrey meant that there was nothing there. It never existed. It will never exist." The Doctor turned to face Rose. "The TARDIS and I are the only two things that prove that anything was ever in this point in space."

"And that's exactly what the problem is," Rose said, allowing a tiny bit of a grin to show on her face. The pictures that the ship had showed her earlier started making sense. "You're a paradox, and by crossing through this point, you've created another paradox."

The Doctor blinked and stared at Rose. "What was that?" he asked.

"I said that you were a paradox…"

"No. Not that. The pictures. The images. I saw Gallifrey, like in a dream, but it was nothing that I remember seeing before." He stepped forward and touched her face. "And I know you can't have seen it, because you've never been there."

Rose closed her eyes, allowing herself to enjoy the touch for just a moment. "The TARDIS showed me some stuff earlier. Trying to explain the situation."

"But how did I see it? You're not psychic," he said.

She didn't have a chance to react before he seized. Grabbing him, she supported his weight as he screamed and clutched his head. "What is it?" she asked, not caring which one answered her.

"I don't know," he gasped. Rose cushioned his head when he tried to bang it on the controls, writhing in agony. "I don't know, I don't know, I don't know."


	6. Chapter 6

The chandelier was glowing brightly again by the time the three got back there. The Doctor scanned it with his sonic screwdriver. "That's not right," he said, frowning. "There's huon energy just bursting out of it."

"Huon? Oh, no. Not again," Donna said, backing away from the light.

"How do you know about huon energy?" the Doctor asked, staring at her. "Humans don't even have access to this."

"Tell that to that spider woman who tried to use me to take over the Earth," the redhead snapped. "That's how I met him. I mean you. I got sucked right onto that ship. Right in the middle of my wedding, too."

"I'm sure that's a fascinating story and I'll be really interested when the time comes, but that still doesn't explain what it's doing here now." He turned his attention back to it just as the bright flash happened again. Staring around at the crowds, they vanished and reappeared, seemingly unaware that they'd just started over. "Fascinating," he said. "And now everything plays back again?"

"That's what we've seen, although that's only the third time we've seen it," Martha said. "The first flash was when the TARDIS disappeared, then once before we found you, and then…" She trailed off as she noticed an oddly dressed man with long curly hair walking through the crowds. "How come he wasn't there the last time?"

Her question went unanswered as the Doctor grabbed her and Donna and pulled them back behind a small booth.

"Who's that then?" Donna whispered.

"That's me," the Doctor said quietly. "But I don't remember being here before."

Martha frowned. "I wonder why our Doctor didn't recognize this since you're here."

The Time Lord stared at her. "That's a very good question. And you came here with a future me who didn't know this place at all?"

"He didn't seem to. I mean you didn't." Martha grinned ruefully. "Sorry. I still get tripped up every now and then."

"I'd love to discuss time travel syntax with you, but right now we need to figure out what's going on." The Doctor sighed and looked at the two women. "So, full story. What happened when you got here?"

Martha glanced at Donna and took the lead. "We came here after you programmed random coordinates. Me and Donna went shopping and you went off wandering because something didn't look right to you. It wasn't too long before we saw you running back to the TARDIS."

"So, something got me running?" he asked. "Right then. We need to find out what's going on, and I think the best place is to go back to the beginning." Glancing over at the earlier regeneration, he grinned. "Preferably without giving my past self a scare."

The three made their way back to the navigation computer room. "There must be some kind of information here," he said, sitting in front of the monitors.

Martha noticed when he went absolutely still. "What is it?"

"That's impossible. There's nothing there anymore."

"What's out there then?" she asked.

"Gallifrey."

Donna's head whipped around. "I've heard that name before," she said. "That's what he said to that spider woman and it scared her something fierce."

"It's impossible. Gallifrey is gone." The Doctor reran the information through the computer again. Staring at the unchanged information, he frowned. "So, we're where Gallifrey was and this ship is running right through where the planet used to be and it's stuck in a time loop."

The whole room lit up as another flash blinded them. "They're coming quicker," Martha said.

"How long between flashes?" he demanded.

"We were here about a half hour or so before we saw the first one, then maybe twenty minutes after the second one, then fifteen or so?" Martha said, glancing over at Donna who nodded in confirmation.

"And there was just me and my last self out there? All right." The Doctor stood up and grinned a familiar manic smile. "Just one more question. Do either of you know which of my forms you're traveling with now?"

"The next one. Rose described you pretty well, unless several of your forms wear black leather and have a northern accent," Martha said. "And she was there when you regenerated, so I figure she knows what she's talking about."

"Fantastic. All right. That light seems to be the center of this mess. Let's go there."

The two women followed him, and they kept their eyes open. Another flash followed on the heels of the one in the room, and every time there seemed to be another man that the Doctor avoided. By the time they fought through the crowds, there'd been another three flashes.

"We need to stop this now!" the Doctor said. "There's too many of me out there."

"How many regenerations have you had?" Martha asked.

"I'm the ninth."

"And what happens when you run out?" Donna asked.

"I don't know." He pointed his sonic screwdriver at the chandelier again. "The energy level is going through the roof!"

Another flash blinded them, and Martha and Donna stared around at the circle of odd men gathering around the light. Martha tried to stifle a hysterical giggle at Rose's complaint about their Doctor's choice of clothes. If these were actually his past selves, she had to admit that his taste had gotten better. Celery on a lapel? Or that scarf?

Between the flashes and the glowing light fixture, seeing was becoming difficult. The leather-clad Doctor beside them looked around. "Rassilon, this isn't good."


	7. Chapter 7

Rose wished with all her heart that her being able to touch her Doctor didn't come with such a price. He lay on the grating with his head on her lap, but every few minutes he would scream and hold his head like it was splitting open.

"What's wrong with him?" she asked the TARDIS.

_He shouldn't be here. He's being split into all his former regenerations._

"And when he runs out, then he dies?" Rose asked, tears falling for the first time since before she'd died. She got her answer in the silence. "I can't stand this," she whispered, running her fingers through his hair as she tried to soothe the pain. He was beyond external feelings, and Rose could see that his eyes weren't seeing anything in the control room. Laying his head on the grating carefully, she stood before the TARDIS. "Look. I'm not doubting Martha and Donna's ability to deal with this, but I cannot just sit here and do nothing. Now are you going to help me or not?"

There was a long pause before the panel rose slowly, and the ghost had a strong flashback to Margaret the Slitheen's experience with the heart of the TARDIS. Pushing that back, Rose stared into the golden light, unafraid since she was already dead. She needed to help her Doctor, and this was the only way that she knew of.

The vortex flowed into her, and Rose inhaled the power. The Bad Wolf reared her golden head again, and this time, she knew what she needed to do. Nothing could stop her as she stepped onto the space ship. The invisible scar in time and space from the Time War raged through her, and the Bad Wolf shuddered at the wound. This puny ship was picking at it, trying to reopen it, and she knew that it was what was killing her Doctor.

The center of the ship drew her, and as she pinpointed the source of the irritation. Stepping into the center, the golden light swirled around the group of people staring up into the brilliance. Bad Wolf looked at them, smiling at each one in turn. As her eyes fell on her first Doctor, she held out her hand.

"I know you. I've seen this before. Oh, Rose, what have you done?" he asked, his voice as desperate as the last time she'd done it.

"I want you safe. All of you." The glowing tendrils of power floated away from her. "I'll protect you anything, even from your home."

Martha stared in shock at the woman before her. After meeting Rose the ghost, she'd still had difficulty justifying the pleasant blonde girl against the incredible tales that Jack and the Doctor had told. The power-drenched form showed her just how fearless this girl was.

"Rose, you'll burn!" the Doctor said, staring in horror at her.

"Not this time." Her voice echoed strangely through the ship. Bad Wolf had the attention of everyone, even the previously oblivious shoppers stared at the glowing girl. "It's time to set this right. For all time."

All of the Time Lords began shouting at her, trying to get her attention as she raised her arms. Donna and Martha shuddered as they felt something pull through them. Their screams joined with the crowds'.

The ninth Doctor stood oddly still and stared at the woman. "Rose, you'll die," he said, the pleading apparent.

"Rose is already dead. I am Bad Wolf."

He glared at the two women who gave him his answer in their guilty expressions. "You can't be dead!"

"All will be as it should be." She looked at her first Doctor one last time. "The girl loved you. Remember that." A blast threw everyone back and then the light faded.

Martha sat up and peered around. The chandelier was gone. It had been blown apart, the charred remains smoking. The other Doctors were gone, although the one they'd been working with still remained. More disturbing was the obvious absence of Rose.

"Why am I still here?" he asked, sitting and staring at where she'd been. "Oh, Rose, what did you do?"

Donna placed a sympathetic hand on his. "I was with you just after you lost her last time," she said. "Your next self loves her just as much."

"You lied to me," he growled.

"No, we didn't. Rose is a ghost. She did die, but she's anchored to the TARDIS. That's why she wasn't with us. She can't leave the ship." Martha stood up. "And it wasn't your fault that she died. She'd gotten trapped in a parallel universe and died there. You had nothing to do with it."

He opened his mouth to say something when he saw something. "Rose," he whispered and began walking toward her.

The women stared as a much younger version of the ghost they knew smiled blindingly at the Time Lord. He ran toward her and swept her into a giant hug before they both vanished with the others.

Martha turned to Donna and offered her a hand up. "Come on. Let's see if we can find a way out of here," she said. The two walked solemnly back to where they'd last seen the TARDIS.

The familiar blue box sitting in the same spot that it had been was a welcome sight, and they ran up to the doors. Pushing them open, they stared around at the destruction.

"Bloody hell! What happened in here?" Donna asked.

"Doctor!" Martha called. "Rose! Where are you?"

A low groan answered their questions. Martha dashed over to the prone form. "Hold still until I see what's wrong," she said, the order plain in her words.

"Where's Rose?" he asked without even opening his eyes.

"I haven't seen her. What happened?"

"Rose was here. I could touch her," he said, staring up at Martha with an unfocused stare. "Where is she?"

Checking him over, the young doctor was startled to find a bandage on his head already. "Did Rose do this?"

"Yeah. I think." The Doctor's eyes closed again. "Rose!"

Donna stepped forward. "Do you want me to go look for her? Or do you need help here?"

"Go look for her," Martha said. "I've got him." She checked his swollen arm and felt the break. His posture protected one side, but he wouldn't let her check.

"Help me up," he groaned. When she hesitated, he grabbed her hand. "There's something really wrong. Help me up."

She slid her arm around him and heard his gasp when she touched his sore side. The Doctor peered at the monitor and paled when he read the information scrolling on top of the image. "This is impossible!"

Martha looked at the picture. "That's beautiful," she said. "What is it?"

"It's the birth of a solar system," he said. "It's the birth of Gallifrey."

"So, what, we got sent back in time?"

"No. We haven't moved. We're still on that ship, except now it's passing by the birth of a new solar system." He stared into the central column. "How?"

She was glad she was standing beside him because he let out a scream and collapsed. Grabbing him, she guided him to a sitting position. "What's wrong?" Martha saw Donna walk up to them, but she was still trying to get an answer from the Time Lord. "What is it?"

"Rose!" he screamed, tears filling his eyes but not falling. "What have you done?"

"I couldn't find her," Donna said.

"She's gone!" he rasped. "She looked into the heart of the TARDIS again and this time she's gone!"

"We saw her. We saw her on the ship," Donna whispered. "She disappeared."

He buried his face in his good arm. The two women stared at him helplessly as he mourned his loss, again. They all sat together for minutes, hours. Time had never had so little bearing in their lives. In their own ways, they all grieved for the lost Rose.


	8. Chapter 8

The Doctor eventually got them into the vortex where they stayed for a long time. Martha and Donna tried their best to help him get over this, but Rose's loss for the second time was too much. The Time Lord spoke maybe half a dozen words in the two weeks that they stayed.

The familiar sound of the TARDIS leaving the vortex brought both women to the control room. "Where are we going?" Donna asked.

"I'm taking both of you home. It's not fair to keep you here."

It tore at Martha to hear such lifeless words coming from the garrulous Time Lord. "Oh no you're not," she said, crossing her arms and leaning against the railing.

He met her gaze for the first time. "What?"

"You're not fobbing us off so you can go off and get yourself killed. Doesn't work like that." She stared at him. "Whether you want to admit it or not, the universe needs the Doctor."

"And the Doctor needs us," Donna added, copying Martha's posture.

Shaking his head, the Doctor opened his mouth to speak when Donna cut him off.

"And no argument's going to move us." She stared at him fiercely. "You've helped us and saved our lives, but you expect us to just go away when you tell us to. Believe it or not, you need saved, too."

He cringed at her choice of words. "I'll be fine."

"I watched you before Rose came back here. You offered yourself up to every dangerous situation you could. You were trying to get killed!" she said, the accusation heavy in her words. "The plasmavore, the Carrionite, the Daleks! You begged that Dalek to kill you!" Martha felt him trying to brace himself against their arguments. "And all you have to do is to let us try. We're not trying to take Rose's place. We can't and frankly we don't want to. All we want to do is to help you."

Donna had been watching him during Martha's rant. "What's really wrong?" she asked.

The Doctor shook his head, ignoring the redhead's question. "Fine. You can stay. So where do you want to go?" he asked, trying to sound carefree.

"You can only hide like that for so long," Martha said.

"Well, then, get used to it, because I can hide like this longer than you can stand me," he said, grinning wryly. "New Earth again? Or maybe we'll watch the Battle of Hastings. Anyone up for some shopping during the New Roman Empire?"

"Doctor," Donna said, but he ignored her.

"Got it." He began twirling dials and changing coordinates. "Carnivál, Rio de Janeiro, here we come." He threw the levers, but the shower of sparks made him jump back. "Sorry about that."

The landing was rough, and the Doctor gestured toward the doors with a good imitation of his manic smile on his face. "Well, go see."

Martha walked slowly down the ramp, suspicious of his apparent mood change. She peered out the doors, expecting to see her house in modern day London. Instead, she saw a field of oddly colored grass. Staring up at the definitely not blue sky, she wondered why this seemed vaguely familiar.

"Since when does Brazil have an orange sky?" Donna demanded.

The Doctor frowned. "What do you mean, orange sky?" He peered at the controls. "The coordinates read Earth, South America, 2015." Running down to the doors, he stared past the women and out at the virgin world. "No, no, no, no, no, no!" he said, pushing past them and walking through the gently swaying grass.

"Doctor, where are we?" Donna asked, following him outside.

Martha made her own assumption as she watched the Doctor's reaction. "This is your home, isn't it?" she asked quietly. "This is Gallifrey."

He nodded absently as he wandered around. "It looks the same. She made it the same."

"Rose did this?" Donna asked.

Nodding again, he sat down, running his hands through the grass.

"If she made it the same, are there Time Lords here?" Martha asked.

Closing his eyes, the Doctor shook his head. "Even she couldn't do that." He laughed hoarsely. "She gave me back an empty planet."

A pale yellow vaporous figure walked toward the group. Standing, the Doctor rushed toward it. "Who are you?"

"I am Bad Wolf."

He flinched as if he'd been physically hurt. "You destroyed Rose!"

"The human sacrificed herself willingly to give you what you could not. She gave you your life and she gave you your home."

"I don't want it!"

Bad Wolf stood quietly for a moment. "Do you mean that you would prefer the return of the human over the return of your own people?"

He opened his mouth to reply before stopping, caught by the oddly worded question. "Is this a trick? Are you merely being hypothetical or do I have a choice here?"

"There is always a choice."

A longing hit him in the pit of his stomach when he realized what his choice was. "Would I bring back my friends and family?"

"The Time Lords would start over. There's no guaranteeing that they would be the same that you knew, and it would take hundreds of millennia for them to develop."

The Doctor stood on his native soil. There was a heaviness in him that he knew he'd carry with him for the rest of eternity. He moved his lips, unable to actually put his voice behind his words.

"Done."

Bad Wolf dissipated. He stood silently, trying to keep the tears from falling. He'd chosen his people, and despite the intelligence of his choice, his hearts told him that he was wrong.

"So when do you think she'll show up?" Donna asked.

The Doctor whirled and ran, trying to find distance between him and his friends. He didn't deserve their friendship; he certainly didn't deserve their sympathy. Donna had blindly believed that he would choose the woman he loved. He should have picked her; he missed Rose with every fiber of his being.

"Doctor!"

The call only spurred him on to running faster. He didn't want to see anyone when he completely broke down and lost it.

"Doctor!"

There was only the pounding of his feet and the thumps of his hearts as he continued running. He knew that the humans couldn't keep up with his pace for too long, that they'd tire long before his respiratory and circulatory systems required him to stop.

"Doctor!"

There was a release in running. It was the first time in a very long time that he'd felt truly free. Long before the Time War, long before he'd felt the strictures of his culture and their rules. He was free.

"Doctor, stop!"

Why wouldn't they just let him go? He'd finally found his release from his life and his losses. He knew that he could just run. He'd rest when he was tired and he would run when the dreaded dreams came.

"Doctor!"

A deep resentment began boiling up against Martha and Donna. Why couldn't they understand he had to go? He slowed his steps, determined to tell them to leave him be. Whirling around, he faced Rose Tyler.

His shock allowed her to catch up with him and throw herself into his arms. Instinct let him return her hug, and he tried to take her in with every one of his senses. He was never going to let her go.

"I love you," he whispered in her ear. "I lost you twice and still didn't learn my lesson. Not going to do that again. I love you."

"Quite right, too," she choked, laughter and tears both heavy in her voice. Looking up at him, she smiled brightly despite her glassy eyes. "Hello."

"Hello," he grinned finally. Squeezing her tightly again, he whirled her around. "I love you, Rose Tyler."

"I love you too." Rose sighed happily and rested her head on his shoulder. "And I'm never leaving you."

"Good, 'cause there's no way you're leaving my sight again." He laughed softly. "Shall we go back home?"

Grinning at his choice of words, she regarded him impishly. "In a minute." Rising on her tiptoes, she grabbed his face and kissed him.

He realized her intention and met her halfway. Their breath intermingled, warming both faces. She felt his stubble scrape her face, and it felt incredibly good. He drank in the softness of her face as their lips tried to express all the emotion pent up between the two.

They parted and stared at each other for a moment. "You don't kiss anything like Cassandra," he said finally. Raising his eyebrows flirtatiously, he added, "And I like it a lot better."

"I like that one better than you trying to save my life," she said. "More fun, less end-of-the-world."

"You remember that?" he asked.

"Yeah. I remember a lot of things." She sighed and ran her fingers through his hair. Frowning suddenly, Rose peered at the side of his head. "There's nothing there," she said. "How long has it been?"

"Not long," he evaded. "The TARDIS has a great medical plan." Giving her a pointed stare, he nodded back at her. "As I'm sure you'll remember."

"Hey, at least most of mine weren't serious," she said, hoping he wouldn't bring up the few close calls she'd had.

"And neither were mine." Surprising her with another kiss, he grinned against her lips. "Ready to go now?"

"Sure. As long as we don't go too long without another snog or two."

Snagging her hand in his, he squeezed it gently. "Deal."

They walked in silence for a few minutes before Rose spoke again. "Why aren't you asking about me being here?"

"I don't care why you're here." Glancing over at her, he noticed her pensive expression. "I care about you, but let's just say I don't want to tempt fate by looking too closely."

"Really?" She let the silence stretch out for a while. "I am real, in case you were wondering."

He held up their clasped hands. "I noticed that," he smiled.

"And you're still not going to ask about how any of this happened?"

"Nope."

She stopped and pulled him down for another kiss. "Works for me."


	9. Chapter 9

Martha stopped Donna when she started after the Time Lord started running. "I don't think Rose is coming back," she said to forestall the redhead's questions. "Let's go back to the TARDIS."

Donna looked after him, watching the alien run. "But he always runs from his problems," she said. "When's he going to settle down and face his decisions?"

"I don't know," Martha said. "On the other hand, if you had to choose between the person you really loved or your family, who would you pick?"

"Can't he get a bloody break one way or another?" the redhead complained. Still grumbling under her breath, she said, "He's a damn fool if he doesn't pick Rose."

Martha gave her a long look letting Donna know that her comment hadn't gone unheard. She pushed the doors open, expecting a suitably dim environment when she entered. Instead, she heard a high-pitched hum that harmonized with the normal lower hum and a brightly lit interior.

"Have you ever had to decide the fate of an entire species?" the young doctor asked. "Those choices just can't be made on a whim."

"But he makes those kinds of decisions all the time," Donna said as she followed Martha in. "I'm just saying that I'm going to miss her. She was pretty nice."

Martha gasped. "Jack! We're going to have to tell him she's gone again."

"I think he'll be okay," Donna said. "I mean, he seemed to handle her being dead before."

"Whatever. I'm going to bed. We'll have quite a wait until he settles down and comes back," Martha said and left the control room.

Donna said, "I'll follow you back in a bit." Cocking her head at the center column, she allowed herself to hope. "He'll be all right, won't he?"

The lights flickered ever so slightly, but it was enough to encourage her. "All right. I'll wait and see how it turns out." Patting the console lightly, she grinned. "I think he's right. You are the smartest thing around here."

There was a stutter in the engine's hum that she swore was laughter. Feeling more encouraged, Donna left the control room.


	10. Chapter 10

The TARDIS was quiet when Rose and the Doctor entered the ship. Grinning, she bounced up to the controls. "Oh, it's so good to be able to touch everything," she said, giggling.

Pulling her into his arms, the Time Lord smirked. "And what does everything include?" he asked.

Resting her hands on his shoulders, she cocked her head as if considering his question. "Oh, I can think of a few things."

He kissed her again, and for the first time, Rose felt like the air was being sucked from her lungs. She pulled away, gasping. "Wow. That was … wow."

"I've rendered Rose Tyler speechless. Always a good thing," he said, dropping another kiss on the top of her head. "I know that you're anxious to go through your things."

Rose hesitated. "And I'm going to stay in my room?" she asked.

"Well, not all the time," he said and took advantage of her parted lips. This kiss got past her defenses and she moaned against his mouth.

"Oh!" Startled, they turned in unison to a very startled Martha. "I wasn't trying to intrude. Honestly!" she said, backing away from the doorway.

"It's all right," the Doctor said. "As you can see, Rose is back."

"And not a ghost, either," Martha said, regaining her composure a bit. "Um, Doctor, how…?"

"Don't know. Don't care," he said, carelessly throwing his coat over the railing. "I'm just thrilled she's here."

"But I thought you'd asked for …" Her voice trailed off. "Sorry. From your reaction, I thought I knew what you'd chosen."

"You were right, but never question the cook when you order broccoli and get chocolate biscuits," he said, running around the controls. "How about a trip back to see Jack? I'm sure he'll be thrilled to be able to manhandle you again."

"I think my days of letting Jack have his way are long past," Rose laughed.

Martha watched them play, and quietly left them alone. He was happy, far happier than she'd ever seen him, and she suspected that her time in the TARDIS was drawing short, and for the first time, the thought brought a smile to her face. It was time for her to find someone who could make her feel like that.

She wandered past Donna's door, which was open just a crack. Behind it, the redhead grinned brightly as she listened to the laughter echoing through the ship and then the more telling silence after it. The Doctor finally had his Rose, and it was about time.


End file.
